The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
