Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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