Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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