so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
