No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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