Your tits are I can't wait for
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
