it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize