i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
