Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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