god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
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