How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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