I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
