god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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