That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
