You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
