We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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