eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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