I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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