Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
