At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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