So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
