Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
