I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
