Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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