There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
