Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
