I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize