Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
