So drunk its hurt
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
