yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
