If i come over, it means nothing
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
