He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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