So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize