I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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