Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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