Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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