Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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