I don't think brook has ever known best
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
