Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
