I love black thongs
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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