I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
