Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
