Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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