I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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