i think i have herpe
just one?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
