You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
