I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Randomize
