The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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