party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
