Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize