youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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