Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
