I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize