he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
