some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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