I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
