you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize