Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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