When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
